雖然 Joan Didion 在 奇想之年 的文字顯得有點破碎, 但或許也是因此讓哀慟的氣氛瀰漫… 摘一些句子 (中文翻譯有些拗口, 找到原文比較原味; 時間是在 John 過世的隔年):
“you can love more than one person.” Of course you can, but marriage is something different. Marriage is memory, marriage is time … Marriage is not only time: it is also, paradoxically, the denial of time. For 40 years I saw myself through John’s eyes. I did not age. This year for the first time since I was 29 I saw myself through the eyes of others. This year for the first time since I was 29 I realized that my image of myself was of someone significantly younger…
在捷運上看 奇想之年, 我竟然不由自主的掉眼淚, 無關年紀、性別、人生經驗, 而是對於「突然中斷了、沒有了」的恐懼 (雖然我也知道再怎麼恐懼也沒用) …
然後自然的想起 Joan Didion 和丈夫 John Gregory Dunne 合作的「Up Close & Personal」(但老實說, 這部電影完全沒打動我) 的主題曲, Celine Dion – Because You Loved Me